Daybreak | IC Inbox.

[awooligan]

CLIFFORD NORMAN
UN: REDRIDINGHOODIE

STATUS: grade 11

ACCOLADES: n/a.

BIO: name's cliff. let me know if you'll buy cigarettes and shit for me, we can work something out.

© TESSISAMESS

Comments

boof boof tiems

[hawkwardness]

[A big brown bird riding the thermals above the campus is a daily sight, though he doesn't have nearly as much time to fly as he did over the summer. Maybe an hour and a half--and if he doesn't find something to eat in that time, he'll have to snag some raw meat elsewhere. Mostly what he does is people watch from above, feeling light and free and relaxed... it's about the only time he does anymore.

It's easy to tell from way up there that someone's a lot more stressed than he was a few days ago. It could be anything, there are only a billion reasons to be wigging out. Nightfall's implications finally hitting him, maybe??

Like he always does, he plummets out of the sky, looking like he's going to splat until he flares his wings and lands neatly on the nearest perch. Show off.]

< ...Hey. Are you feeling okay? >

[awooligan]

[He pivots, moving on instinct more than really registering what it is that's coming at him -- or who, as it turns out. The half-formed snarl settles into something more like a scowl and his posture shifts inward. He wraps his arms around his middle and furrows his brows, trying to fight down the urge to either lash out or run. Think about how fucking hilarious it is that he's the one getting angry for once in this stupid...not-friendship. He didn't do enough to make this a friendship, and he was just going to fuck it up anyway.

Cliff has bruises on his face, tired, yellowing-purple blotches on the inner corners of his eyes from falling hard on his nose the other night, and it really adds to his half-involuntary glare. Breathe. It's more of a huff.]

I'm fine.

[Can't he see that with his oh-so-powerful hawk vision?]

[hawkwardness]

[Whatever, he can glare better than Cliff will ever be able to. It doesn't ruffle his feathers any. Neither does the pathetic attempt at lying.]

< Uh huh. Sure. Did you punch yourself in the face too? Or did your roommate decide to try something besides biting? >

[awooligan]

[No! Let him be a glarewolf!! Except now he's decided to glare off to the side, because these are things that should be said sarcastically, they should be jokes -- said by him. He's the one that's supposed to brush these things off. If it was someone else...

Then it really wasn't a big deal. Nothing to worry about.

Cliff shakes his head a bit like that will throw that moronic thought right on out of there, but all it does is make him wince and press the heel of his palm to his temple. Unbelievable that he still has a headache by this point... Maybe he should get started earlier tonight.]

Shut up! Like he could. Fucking fell coming through my damn window, alright? Go on, laugh, or say I fucking deserved it, or whatever. [Though...] Goddammit, that's what my mom's going to think, too, if she sees. Fucking tired of this...

[hawkwardness]

[Maybe Cliff should learn better ways to cope before he goes into liver failure!!]

< It's only bruising. Whoever's in the infirmary can probably heal you. They've got magic, remember? It's not a big deal. >

[awooligan]

[Maybe so, but maybe people could lay off, also!!!]

Pff. Fuck that... I'm not going there just so they can give me shit, too...

[hawkwardness]

< Hey, you're the one who said you're tired of this. >

[So do something about it. A bit of defensiveness might have snuck into his not-voice.]

[awooligan]

You don't get it. How the fuck could you? You're just a bird.

[He growls out a sigh, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back like the thing he's tired of now is this conversation. If only... He'd much rather be tired of this conversation than tired of himself. God, he's fucking all this up. He's being a monster. Haha.]

Just -- never mind. Sorry. I have a headache and I just don't want to deal with people's bullshit. Calling home probably isn't a good idea right now anyway...

[hawkwardness]

["You're just a bird", Cliff says, and his feathers raise up--an angry expression, spread out over his entire body. Again. Just a bird, not a real person, wondering why the fuck he bothered to come down.]

< Fine, whatever. I guess I'm wasting your time and my own. Sit around and be miserable by yourself then. >

[awooligan]

[Fuck. Shit. Fuckshit. Clifford's nails dig into his arms as he holds himself even tighter, trying to keep the urge to lash out in defense inside, like the wolf.

Hm, he fails. It's just...not fair?]

Man, what is your problem with me? Do you even want to give me a chance, or are you just looking out for reasons to bust my balls?

[hawkwardness]

< I don't know, what's your problem with me today? I wanted to see if you were okay, and what I get is you telling me to stop giving you shit because I'm just a bird. What the hell did I do? >

[Once upon a time he would have gone silent and swallowed up the abuse... but that was a different life.]

[awooligan]

[He realizes a second after doing it that he's following the instinct of baring his fangs, which he doesn't have an easy fix for and he he ends up looking away and gritting his teeth harder. Calm down, calm the fuck down, because even if Tobias is right about his temper being out of hand today, reacting even more to that out of either fear or frustration wasn't going to do him any good.]

Fucking hell, you didn't do anything! [Stupid... His gums almost feel itchy, he wants to bite and run, what the fuck is up with that? He swallows hard like that might make the feeling go away, and he exhales out a groan when that doesn't work. At least his voice is a bit steadier now, and less...shouty for no reason.] You didn't do anything. I just -- Fuck, this is all so stupid. I just meant that you wouldn't get it!

[hawkwardness]

< Apparently not. >

[The hawk is still puffed up, the anger hasn't relented.] < I may be just a bird, but I don't have weird mood swings and chew off everyone's heads. So I'm going to go now, and you can let me know when you get it out of your system. > [He's already spreading his wings, naturally.]

[awooligan]

[There's no way for him to stop Tobias, and why would he? Tobias being around him right now isn't good for either of them. It would be better for everyone if he was just...left alone. But he's away at school and sleeping in a dorm with too many people to avoid hurting everyone if he just stays how he is... With a growl to himself, Cliff storms off to Solve The Problem.

It's a good handful of hours later that Tobias hear a knock at his door -- he'd seen the window open, so he's...pretty sure his bird bud will be there. Bird ex-bud? Bird.]

[hawkwardness]

[Bird is there, the other roommate is not. Luckily for Cliff, who needs to learn to text first. Same scene, different day. Hawk on branch watching television on his phone. No homework to do. He sounds... tired, in a way, even though.]

< Oh. Hey. >

[awooligan]

[Different day, different scene! See, door and everything. That's the proper way people should come over, not that...this had anything to do with being proper. Being something else, yeah. Big time yeah.

Cliff lazily closes the door behind himself and settles down on Tobias's bed, looking simultaneously glassy-eyed and like he's concentrating hard. For someone else, the smell would have been indication enough, but with Tobias's useless hawk nose, it's probably that familiar, bleary look that will speak for Cliff's drunken state before he speaks for himself.]

Full disclosure, m'super wasted. [But at least he's honest about it? And mmn, he's not into this whole sitting up thing anymore, he's gonna just...stack up anything that's on Tobias's bed out of the way so he can lay down and watch the bird through half-closed lids.] Needed, um... Everything was -- you know? I just needed to slow down, so I could talk to you and not get so...fuckin'...

[hawkwardness]

[Cliff speaks and Tobias feels as if he's suddenly aged five years. So, so very done--there is no blatant body language this time, only more of a fed up tone to his voice.]

< You've got to be kidding me. Is that what was wrong with you? Too long without a drink and you started feeling it? Seriously? >

[awooligan]

[Less control over his composure, Cliff can't stop the instinctual wince as the tone falls over him like ice water. This isn't the time for fight or flight response, body. He already knew Tobias was going to be mad, so it wasn't like he hadn't been expecting to hear something like this, even if it makes him feel smaller.]

M'not an alcoholic. [That defense goes out first, because that's the thing he's confident about.] I don' even drink that much, usually. I was hungover earlier, but that isn't it either. God, I fucking wish that was what's wrong with me.

[hawkwardness]

< Okay. >

[He doesn't sound convinced. It doesn't sound much different from what his uncle would say. Deny, deny, deny everything.]

< What is going on? >

[awooligan]

[Cliff closes his eyes and hangs an arm over his eyes, which combined with his silence and languid movements doesn't help his case of not being a useless drunk that just barged in to cause problems and pass out. But just thinking about telling Tobias the truth makes his stomach lurch and his heart race. He can talk around it, he thinks, though when his words finally come out, they're stilted and slow.]

Uh. Haven't been sleeping great. I can't...slow down, and then I just get so mad, and I don't want to? But this finally makes me tired... So I wan'ed to talk to you before I got mad again, even though I knew you'd hate me.

[hawkwardness]

[He turns and preens at his feathers, unnecessarily. Nice, soothing. A bit of comfort for himself. Obviously it doesn't stop him from answering.]

< Okay. Sure. What are we going to talk about? >

[awooligan]

How I'mmm a massive dick. And a screw-up. Carl fuckin' wishes he could throw this in my mom's face so she wouldn' be so "soft" on me anymore. [Ugh, oh -- ] How as soon as this is over, I'm not touching anything with alcohol for a month. Shit, this sucks.

[Day after day, hangover after hangover. His whole body hurts, and it isn't just all the running around he's doing to try and get his pent up energy out or the constant tension in his muscles like he's preparing for a fight that would come any second.]

[hawkwardness]

[Preen, preen, preen. The tension is building. A lot to unpack there. It feels like such an important conversation, one he has to be his best for... and he can't be sure he's up for it. He's too damn young to be the adult here, he thinks to himself.]

< Look, I'm not going to say you weren't being a bit of a jerk. Not going to say I wasn't just as bad. But, uh... after what's over? Insomnia? That's not going to magically go away. >

[awooligan]

Mmm.

[It's a weary hum of agreement, because yeah. Even if he knows this particular bout had an end date just around the corner, this was going to continue to be a problem for the rest of his life, if he got to live it.]

It's... Don' worry about it. I can handle it. Aren't I causing enough trouble for you already?

[hawkwardness]

[He pauses and rests his beak in his feathers, motionless.]

< You wanted to talk about it. And I have a feeling nobody else is helping you out. Right? Just... me. >

[For whatever he's worth. Not much, that's for sure.]