Daybreak | IC Inbox.

[awooligan]

CLIFFORD NORMAN
UN: REDRIDINGHOODIE

STATUS: grade 11

ACCOLADES: n/a.

BIO: name's cliff. let me know if you'll buy cigarettes and shit for me, we can work something out.

© TESSISAMESS

Comments

[kept_his_letters]

"Mamá wouldn't be mad at you," She says, leaning her head upon Cliff. "Maybe me. But mostly she'd be worried we'd get hurt up here or something silly." Silly. Yes.

She looks a little surprised at his further confession. But, then she grins at him.

"Ah, so you'd been in need of my trouble contributions and expertise," She teases.

[awooligan]

"Uhhm, I mean... I don't know. Maybe."

God, this is such? an awkward subject?? How do you remind your new girlfriend that you're a teenage boy and she's very attractive, things that would probably be noticed by a concerned parent upon discovering they were finding someplace out of the way to be alone at night... He's already touching her more than he was used to, even if it's not like that. Or not...completely like that. It's probably a little like that, since he's not keen on touching people in the first place, but he wanted to make an exception for her.

The other topic is easier, even if he's being teased. He lightly rolls his eyes and gives her a little bump. "Can't say I haven't missed it."

[kept_his_letters]

It doesn't occur to her that that would be an issue. Besides the touch thing, there was the fact that she'd stayed in his room for a good long while. And besides that, she was perfectly capable of speaking up.

What absolute fool gets handsy with the daughter of necromancers anyway?

Her grinning is only encouraged by that bump. She sways and then bumps back.

"I haven't had to use my sneaking skills much lately either," She admits. "It's kind of nice."

[awooligan]

Well, he'd like to assume all that would be happening with her enthusiastic consent, obviously. He really wouldn't dare otherwise... But yeah, the point is that he doesn't need even more reason to feel wary and awkward around Coco's parents, and being discovered together might make him want to die before he can even find out just what issues they would take with that.

"Yeah. I bet." He's happy for her. Technically, he realizes, he should be feeling the same kind of relief. The two big secrets he'd been keeping were out in the open and life was continuing on better than ever... Cliff closes his eyes and takes a deep breath despite the smell of dust tickling his senses, letting that thought sink in. Letting himself feel lighter. "...Still fun sometimes, though. Like now."

[kept_his_letters]

She watches his face. She wasn't sure-- she's never really sure-- that he'd be on the same page, but the peaceful look on his face as he closes his eyes and breathes in, she's sure he feels the same. She tries to stamp the image into heart.

She laughs then.

"Oh, definitely. Sneaking out with the best-boy-friend on valentines weekend is a good time."

[awooligan]

Well, if there was anything to shatter that peace, it'd be that. His eyes open and flit over to her while his face heats up. Aaugh, embarrassing! Especially because he's really happy about it! Hearing the word 'best' in reference to him, and then followed by the words 'boy' and 'friend', possibly even 'boyfriend'... It warms his broody teen heart, but at the same time, how does he even respond to that without sounding like a complete moron or a parrot...?! It's also embarrassing to realize she'd been looking at him.

Trying to make himself look less like an idiot makes him suddenly far too aware of his own face. "Um..." Alright. If he's already looking stupid, he might as well sound stupid, too. "I...want to kiss you some more. I just keep thinking -- it's stupid. I don't want to...infect you, somehow. Or something because I know it doesn't work like that. I don't want to screw everything up."

[kept_his_letters]

Perhaps she should have left him be. It's strange. She both likes the flush of his face and feels guilty for ruining the moment. It's only as he explains himself that she feels her smile fall though.

She moves. She slips from his side, from under his arm. She shuffles along the old wooden boards until her knees are drawn close to him, facing him. She reaches out. Her hands quake a little with the nerves of doing something new, with how badly he could react to such a thing, but she goes to hold his face. If he jerks away, her hands will drop, and she'll take but a moment more to speak.

"... I don't know a lot about this. I think it's something to ask other people about. And I won't say I wouldn't mind being a wolf because I think that would make me sound like a stupid insensitive jerk and I don't really know. But... um... if it makes you feel better, we can, um, work around it." Her face colors. "I could kiss you instead. Or we could not and that would be okay. But, um. Either way. I don't think it would be screwing up."

[awooligan]

Nervousness rises as she moves, first because he's kicking himself and worrying that she's trying to get distance between them because he'd gone and reminded her. He had a monster inside him that she didn't want to catch. He didn't want her to catch it either -- or for it to catch her. Then she's coming closer again, reaching for him and he feels his pulse quicken in a far more uncomfortable way than before. Cliff doesn't pull away, but his jaw tightens as he fights to stay still and focus on her words instead. He trusts her. Coco wouldn't hurt him for as long as she could avoid it.

He doesn't last the whole way through her words, pulling back and reaching to rest his fingers on one of her wrists to gently push it away around the time she starts suggesting things. But he keeps his hand there. It's not a rejection of her.

"No way, I don't want to not kiss you." That would be frustrating beyond belief. It's already frustrating, even though that's all directed inward, as he makes himself continue admitting his unnecessary fear. He's such an idiot. "I'd have to, uh...bite you. They told me. They said to make you sick like me, I'd have to bite you as a wolf. But I'm -- I'm still me. It doesn't feel different to me, to talk, or to do stuff. When you, um, touch me."

That one's hard to admit, when he's instantly inundated with the memory of her petting him, and touching his face like she just had been. Cliff keeps his eyes down. "They're still my teeth. It's my mouth, you know? It's just so much easier for me to change than other people, I -- what if I'm more messed up than the other lycans?"

[kept_his_letters]

She lets him hold her wrists like that, though she wants to try and hold his hands. Give him a moment, she tells herself. Slow down. She smiles faintly, just a moment, when he insists he really does want to kiss her. In some ways, just the knowledge he wants to is enough in itself. Then it's back to figuring out what to do. Then it's back to hurting for him.

"What if you're not?" She asks. "What if nothing bad happens?" She doesn't think he considers that much. She hopes he does now.

She sighs softly.

"The worst thing... I guess, the worst thing, for you, is if I catch it too. But... then what? Say I do. I don't... I just can't see it ruining my life. I don't see why it would. But that's the worst thing. You say it doesn't feel different, and, I guess I can understand." After all, her Papá was the same, in a sense. "But, even if you can't tell when you're, um, a different shape..." She tries not to laugh, but she does a little. "Well, it would be very hard for me to kiss a dog. If you changed, somehow, accidentally, it wouldn't be me kissing a wolf. It's not a full moon. You wouldn't just bite me-- in any form, I think. You wouldn't do that any more than you would hit me. You're physically capable, but you wouldn't. Ever. And you're not sick and you're not messed up either. So. It's up to you. They told you nothing could happen but we could look at magic or things. I know you don't want something to happen and feel like it's your fault. But I'm not worried about that. Just... whatever you do... don't feel bad about it, okay?"

[awooligan]

He has actually considered it. He even thinks it's the more likely of the scenarios -- that everything will be just fine, it could even be wonderful. They could be happy. But to him, the alternative is so, so much worse. She might not think it was a problem, but while he can't say that everything about being a werewolf has been awful, it's still not a risk he's keen on taking. It's hard to accept the idea that he might just willfully infect her with something for little moments of selfishness. That's not even getting into...things that would be far, far off, if they were to ever happen.

He breathes slowly through his nose, not lifting his gaze and not trying to offer a weak smile for her words. The most she gets is a small but definite nod when she mentions he could, but never would, hit her. Just the idea of it makes him sick. Cliff lets his hands fall away, allowing her again to do whatever she wants, though he already misses the warmth and softness of her skin. He wishes he felt better and could thank her for her words, since there's no way she would let him apologize after telling him not to feel bad about it. He wishes he could explain that she's his best friend and he doesn't want to lose her, even if she doesn't think it's as possible as he does. He wishes he wouldn't get so screwed up by this, that, and everything else. He wishes...he could kiss her.

"I trust you," he finally says, quiet. He trusts her more than anyone. An apology almost slips again, but Cliff manages to keep his mouth shut and release it as a sigh instead, and even if he doesn't move to take her hands himself or lean forward, he's going to let himself see that as a win.

[kept_his_letters]

How afraid they both are, she thinks. Though, not of the same things. He's afraid to make a mistake, to spread what he is, afraid to be the monster. But, she's afraid to push too far, too fast. She fears taking this all in her hands and shattering it. She pushes it down. She doesn't want to regret having made a move past friendship in the first place.

She almost smiles with his given trust. Her hands free, she reaches up once more, again to his face. All the little fears of inexperience mingle with the fears of worse, but she moves in. She takes a breath. Her head tilts in the last second. She presses her lips to his.

[awooligan]

He has absolutely no idea what he's going to do about all these feelings except bottle them back up again, put a better stopper on it so he won't bother her with it anymore, and try to get it taken care of on his own. He doesn't realize how afraid she is to make mistakes, too, since they're different than his. But when she moves in closer and he feels an anticipatory throb in his chest, he remembers to be worried about the normal part of all this, too -- he doesn't have a damn clue what he should be doing. At least he wasn't freaking out and jerking away, but what if he screwed up by just being bad at it?

He doesn't have forever to drive himself crazy, thankfully. Coco's kissing him, and then the worst thing he could do wrong was not kiss her back, which he easily avoids. Even he can't make that boneheaded mistake. Perhaps emboldened by this, Cliff lifts one of his own hands to her face, barely brushing his fingers against her at first, but settling before he pulls back slightly and scans over her face.

Well. She's not a werewolf. Not that he actually thinks he'd be able to tell, if something did happen... But the point is that it wasn't an immediate catastrophe, and holy shit he just got kissed by the girl he likes? That's more than enough to put a smile back on his face, however small and shy it might be. God, his face is so warm, maybe he'll just straighten a bit more to escape her hands so she won't be feeling just how warm anymore.

"I think, uh, that would be worth it. Yeah." Maybe he'll just...go for a second one? Show her that yes, this really is something he wants to do. Like, a lot.

[kept_his_letters]

Cliff no. None of your stoppers work. Stop doing this.

On the positive end of things, she doesn't miss, which she was afraid to do. She also doesn't erupt into a furry creature and he doesn't pull away from her. So far, so good. He even kisses back, a little bit of pressure that seems to go straight to her heart. The touch to her cheek, too, inspires the same sort of feeling.

It's not the really intense stuff of movies, she knows that, but even still, she feels rather breathless. She smiles at him as he pulls away, her face heated.

"Definitely," She says, and before she knows it, he's kissing her again.

Now this? This is a really good valentines day.

[awooligan]

Maybe he's just not hammering them in hard enough. He'll do a better job this time. It's fine. It's not a big deal. Don't worry about it.

If she thinks this is good, she should just wait for actual valentines day. Happy as he is, Clifford doesn't think this moment will be able to compare to the one where her dad proposes to her mom, or when her mom would undoubtedly say yes. Still, this is pretty damn good, and that's not something he's considering right now, anyway. He's not even considering how this is something crossed off the bucket list, which he may or may not have much time left for. Screw you, sense impending doom, he's too busy trying to get his feet to find purchase instead of continuing to flip over his head in delighted heart cartwheels to think about you.

This time when he moves away, his hand falls again and he lets out a soft, almost disbelieving laugh. He loves her. Maybe it's too early to say that as a boyfriend, but she's been his best friend for half a year in the craziest time in his life. She's been there, and with her here now, it seems simply impossible to not think love is what this is.

He has to say something stupid eventually, so he might as well get it over with. "I'll, uh, have to have you send me this song." Music might not be his biggest link to memory and it might not fit in with the other music he listens to, but another reminder of this feeling definitely couldn't hurt.

[kept_his_letters]

WORRIES ABOUT IT.

Except, at the moment, she's not worried about all that much. Even without knowing the chaos that awaits, even with knowing the looming apocalypse. Everything is really, truly alright for the first time in a long, long time. Letting even the idea of doom slip in is not going to happen. Her stories will be ones where love wins.

She finds herself laughing too.

"I will. Maybe I'll send you a mixtape," She says with a grin, gesturing to the cassette piles.