Daybreak | IC Inbox.

[awooligan]

CLIFFORD NORMAN
UN: REDRIDINGHOODIE

STATUS: grade 11

ACCOLADES: n/a.

BIO: name's cliff. let me know if you'll buy cigarettes and shit for me, we can work something out.

© TESSISAMESS

Comments

[awooligan]

[Yeah... His memory was fuzzy on a lot of things from that day, but "no more secrets" had certainly been something said. He pops the smaller, broken cookie pieces into his mouth.]

Yeah. You guys have time, now.

[kept_his_letters]

Lots of time and lots to catch up on. It's a lot better than phone calls.

And, it's strange maybe, but I feel like... like I'm finally allowed to be me. Really. Maybe that doesn't make sense.

[awooligan]

[He looks down at the table with a soft, private smile.]

No, I think I get it.

[Even with his discomfort with his wolf side, it was nice to know Coco knew, and she'd known about Carl and been furious for him, and they could be delighted in one another's victories, even the small ones. He can say stupid things that would make him want to shrivel and die if said to his other friends, and feel excited to learn new things he didn't have an interest in before. It was different from anything he'd known before, even with his close relationships with his mom and brother. Everything was just more possible, including being him.

He can't imagine how freeing it must be when the support keeping you on your feet -- and dancing, even, haha -- was someone like a father that loves you, finally coming home after being lost, and filling the crater left behind in the family with the promise of staying together.]

Kind of noticed, with that dancing around you were doing.

[kept_his_letters]

[She laughs.]

I can't help it. It's hard to stop.

[It always has been. And so, she's done a lot of tip-toeing for most of her life.]

Papá said I was dancing before I could walk. I think that's impossible, but I would have wanted to. There are so many dances I want to go to. Things with friends or at school or just in the plaza.

[awooligan]

I'd believe it.

[It's the sort of thing that her wonderful self would be capable of, as unlikely as it would be for anyone else. He's seen her move with the ease of breathing, the closer she was to dancing.

Going to dances with friends, though, huh. Cliff inhales, slower than before but trying to be subtle about it, to fight the urge to awkwardly clear his throat or pick at his shoes. That sure was a thought, wasn't it!]

[kept_his_letters]

[She catches his nervous look. Immediately, she scolds herself for not thinking.]

Sorry. It's no pressure or anything. I know you're not into that stuff. I just meant at home. Don't worry. I'm not gonna drag you into a dance or anything. Promise.

[awooligan]

Oh, uh.

[Heck. He wishes he could keep his cool for, like, five minutes around this girl. Apparently having a world of possibilities open to him means that there's a world of things to be nervous about.]

I wasn't... I was just thinking.

[He wants her to be happy... It's just an idea he's still not used to at all, despite giving it some thought before.]

I don't know a lot about any of that.

[kept_his_letters]

[She brightens a little, but the quick brightening of a light flicking on but a slow and tentative dawn.]

Oh. Well, I can't say I know everything either. Haven't really been allowed and all, but I know a few things and... I find sometimes it's not really something you have to know about. Sometimes you just... move. You feel it and you let yourself go.

[awooligan]

[The way she describes it, it sounds nice. It also sounds extremely at odds with his own personal assumptions when it comes to picturing himself dancing.]

I think the only time I've ever let myself go was running into the wild to yell and calm down when Carl was an even bigger asshole than usual. Now it feels like... [How to put it...] What if that other part of me comes out because I'm not being careful?

[kept_his_letters]

[She looks sympathetic. She has no fears remotely similar, except wondering if she'd ever let her bitterness get so big she'd turn her back on Mamá, but even that was tempered by love.

Still...]

I think... I think you shouldn't be afraid of that. Taking precautions, checking the time, that's fine. But... you're still you. You shouldn't be afraid to be you. Not every day.

[She pauses a moment, thinking.]

What if we went out to the woods. After this. What if you went out, like that, and we just... ran? Or danced or whatever?

[awooligan]

[On instinct, he wants to resist. Pull away, grit his teeth, shut down any chance she'd bring it up again. His jaw does tighten, but it's more to bite down on that reaction. Coco wasn't...wrong. Not wrong at all, even if it feels that way, the same way Tobias wasn't wrong when he said something similar. Tobias also didn't feel comfortable in the skin he was born with, though. He avoided that sort of thing, too.]

...Is "Dances with Wolves" actually about dancing with wolves? I've literally only ever heard the title. Like, twice, maybe.

[But he doesn't actually want to deflect entirely, this time. He won't have many more chances to do things with her for a while.]

If it was running, you couldn't keep up with me, you know.

[kept_his_letters]

[She blinks.]

Um. I don't know. I haven't seen it either? Or read it?

[Was that a book or a movie??? Then she's back to laughing.]

No, but you could circle back. It would be almost like a dance then.

[awooligan]

[Or both? Is it both?? There's no one old enough to ask right now, and he doesn't actually care, he was just stalling.]

Or playing sheepdog?

[Hardy har. He absently scratches at the table's surface, like maybe that will peel away his discomfort.]

Uh, maybe. Yeah. Hurry up and eat, though, I didn't work this hard for nothing.

[kept_his_letters]

Ha! Yes!

[Though not really, since they wouldn't be herding anything.]

Oh! Right! Disculpe.

[With a flush to her cheeks, she takes to the Atole. The sweet flavors of the cinnamon, vanilla, and panela bring her right back home, with Mamá. The homesickness rises again, but it's more settled now, with the promise of going home soon and her Papá around with her.

She gives praise shyly but tries to focus more on hurrying as he asked. Also so he doesn't lose his nerve, what little he has mustered. Eventually, she gets up, bringing the mug to the sink.]

Okay! Let's go!

[awooligan]

[Oh nooo, he was just hoping to take the heat off him, not make her actually hurry through. This is just going to bring him back around to things he was too shy for. At least he can be privately happy about how he seemed to have done a good enough job with the food prep.

The mess of sweets can be left out, honestly -- if someone came by, they were welcome to his spoils, because it was more about the Atole than anything this morning. Atole and...dancing. And/or being a wolf. Better a wolf than a chicken, though, so he pushes himself to a stand and brushes his crumb-covered fingers on his skinny jeans.]

Yeah, okay. Have you ever been into the forest here?

[kept_his_letters]

[Not before she grabs at least one of the sweets to go!]

Nope! No forest adventures yet. At least, not that far in. Anything I should know?

[Perhaps she's wrong but she has to assume the werewolf here would know more than she does.]

[awooligan]

[Well, she's not wrong.]

Nah. It's just a normal forest, I think. If you get lost, I can find you again. Tobias and I came through here to go sit on a mountain ledge -- it's a pretty cool place. Not as open as Oklahoma, but good enough.

guess who forgot to hit send

[kept_his_letters]

Great! Nothing to worry about except a ledge then.

[It's probably too cold to get kidnapped by the fae anyway, which would be a very bad joke given contexts.

She's moving ahead, skipping and twirling, but staying close to him. Even ahead, she doesn't entirely stray away.

Of course, the moment they hit the grass is going to be another story.]

[awooligan]

[Yes, please don't get kidnapped by fae...... Please don't get kidnapped at all, that would be devastating and also very hard to explain to her family.

Cliff is content to trail along behind, though he can't help taking a glance around even as he tells himself that any attention her skipping is getting, it would be put on her instead of him. Racing on ahead once they reach nature is a good distraction from his self-conscious thoughts and pulls a short, surprised laugh from him.

As much practice as he'd had, it's weird to pull back on running. Her headstart leaves a gap that steadily closes even when he's not trying to outpace her, and when they fall in line he looks over with a bright, satisfied grin. Nyeh nyeh. Into the woods!]

[kept_his_letters]

[She gets but a few moments worth of cheater's victory, rushing ahead, and then she hears him and soon enough sees him too at her side. She grins right back at him and laughs helplessly all the while. She never had a chance.

They race together into the woods, deeper and deeper so the world is left behind and he can feel a little safer being himself in every sense. She aims to reach a clearing, some space open enough that she can dance.

When she finds it, she stops and spins in place.]

[awooligan]

[The forest is lush and full of life, but as he watches her, he can't but to think that it's nothing compared to Coco. Then he thinks that that was a really embarrassing, dumb thought and he's eternally grateful no one else knows about it. She's wonderful, though...

Heart feeling lighter even with his usual discomfort, it's a wolf that canters up to Coco's side and circles around her with a playful bounce. It's also a good chance to weigh which scenario is more mortifying: openly being a werewolf around a human, or trying to actually dance with a girl as his awkward self.]

[kept_his_letters]

[When the wolf joins her, she grins wider and laughs with his bouncing. It's cute. There's no other way to put it but she has the mercy in her not to say it out loud.

There are skips, spins, and backwards steps. She doesn't know real proper dances but she doesn't need to, out here. She moves around him and watches as he moves around her. The very unmagical bruja and el Lobo Rojo, finally "running" free.

Eventually when she can dance no more (because no matter how she loves it, she's not about to have more energy than a wolf), she drops down to lay on the earth. And then get up with a shiver and a laugh.]

That's cold!

[Okay, so, no the best idea. Back to her feet she goes.]

I guess I should head back. Or help you clean up in there. Do you feel better?

[awooligan]

[As happy as he is to be with her and seeing her so lost in the joy and playfulness of it all, it's a relief to stop. Wolves just have to run around and that's good enough, but even so, it feels like he should be doing more for a proper dance. Never mind that he still can't get fully on board with the dancing thing in the first place.

To rub in the fact that she can't set her silly human self on the ground, Clifford lays where she just was, chin tucked against his paws and tail wagging in a silent, beckoning tease of chase me, chase me. The question gets it to slow, and he raises his head instead. Well...]

I wasn't ever feeling bad.

[Sort of a lie, but most of the bad feelings, from his point of view, had to do with the fact that she was going home. Now here she was talking about going away, just on a smaller scale. Shove all bad memories of Carl aside! Shove the reality of being a wolf right this second aside! Surely those things couldn't be a big deal.]

Do you have to? It's so boring around here without you. [The room feels so empty!! Although having it to himself again is mostly good.]

[kept_his_letters]

You were feeling like you couldn't be you. That you weren't safe to be yourself. That feels pretty bad.

[Maybe not terrible, but still not good. That wagging tail, however, does indicate things are a little better. It's so, so very hard not to grin at that.]

I could always come back. If you're really that bored.

[Even as she teases him, she's touched. It's a nice thing, to be wanted around like that.]

[awooligan]

[blehhh, buzzkill.]

This isn't me.

[He's about to say that it counts as half at best, but she'd probably do the sensible thing and argue that means he couldn't be his whole, true self, and he doesn't want to have to get into an argument he's just going to lose with her. That's no fun.]

You'd better. I want you to hang out with your dad, but you'll get to see him every day. What am I supposed to do, huh?

[But fine, fine... With a huff, he rolls himself over dramatically to give himself the momentum to get up. As he stands, he only needs to get up on two legs instead of four.]