Daybreak | IC Inbox.

[awooligan]

CLIFFORD NORMAN
UN: REDRIDINGHOODIE

STATUS: grade 11

ACCOLADES: n/a.

BIO: name's cliff. let me know if you'll buy cigarettes and shit for me, we can work something out.

© TESSISAMESS

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[awooligan]

[His lips flatten as he listens, a bit of anxiety crawling up inside him even though what she says should be giving him hope, that this place and these people that weren't meant to protect wouldn't go out of their way to hurt someone -- or worse -- because they made a mistake. He leans back a bit and wraps his arms around himself while he considers the papers.]

He said...they might not care so much if whoever it was didn't look human. I know you said he was normal when he visited, but he had trouble staying awake during the day. He had blight, Coco. It might have been hard to look human enough for them to keep excusing him. [And there'd been one or two...sketchy...reports. He doesn't really want to go into those.] One of the easiest ways to make people forget something is to act like it doesn't exist, and never did.

[That part he's all too familiar with.]

And then it wouldn't...really matter if what they did was wrong. You heard that doctor guy. It's someone that doesn't care about hurting someone.

[He doesn't brace himself, even if he expects her to yell at him for it. It's a really terrible thing to say.]

[kept_his_letters]

[She promised. She promised not to breakdown. She promised. Her lip trembles but she fight the wash of fear and grief back. She can still do something. She has to do something. She has to hope.]

But he did exist. I exist.

[Her breath shudders. She allows no more.]

It's a stupid plan. It doesn't work. Mamá tried to forget him years ago. She wanted us all to forget. But I couldn't. I never did. And I haven't now.

[She looks away, just for the sake of better keeping composure.]

The veil is breaking. They can't hurt him anymore. They don't have an excuse. Whatever Papá is, he's still Papá. They have to let him go.

[awooligan]

[Again he finds himself floundering, unsure of what to do to comfort or reassure. What can he do? After a pause, he carefully shrugs off his red hoodie and drapes it over her shoulders before backing off to hold himself again. It would be warm from him, and he always found it comforting, after getting it from someone random guy that had helped him for no reason. With any luck, it would have the same effect on her.]

Um. When was it that people starting forgetting, again?

[kept_his_letters]

[She startles a little, blinking at the sweater and at him. Then, slowly, her hands rise up and she draws the sweater around. In another time, she might have flushed, but right now she just needs the comfort.

She sighs softly.]

Mamá came back home in February. Things... were weird. With her. Like, I don't know, like she couldn't decide something. But, the forgetting thing, that wasn't until the end of spring. And then by summer it was like how things used to be.

[Her eyes close.]

I never said how long he was gone. It wasn't just a couple of years. Papá left when I was four.

[She grips that red sweater like it will shield her from judgement.]

I was always looking out the window. I'd... always ask when he was coming home. Then, one day, she got so mad. She threw out all of his things. Everything. His clothes. His pictures. Every single bit of music, even her favorite, even the really fancy record player. I asked her to stop. But she didn't. It was the one time she really, really yelled at me and she said she was sorry. She said she'd teach me magic instead. But music wasn't allowed anymore. She threw it all away. The only thing I could save were his letters. I think I knew he wasn't coming home. I think I knew it was going to be all I had.

She didn't sing anymore. She didn't even let music near the house. I wasn't allowed to dance. Some performers came by once. They were going to do a show at a mage gathering. They wanted to use Rivera magic. I thought I could... try it myself. Just, in secret, in the yard. But she caught me and they were sent away and there was even less music. I can't go out with friends unless there's no music. I can't do a lot of things at school. Magic is cool and all, and I really do like it, but, it's just another secret, and sometimes all I can ever think about is how I'm only doing it cause I'm not allowed to do what actually makes me happy. But I... I wasn't the only one who wasn't happy. Or the only one who missed music. Or even the only one who missed him. There was nothing to remind and it still didn't work. When Mamá found him here, when the ban was lifted, I thought things would finally be okay...

But summer came this year and it was just... wrong. Like all that time when he was back didn't happen. People might have been forgetting before then but we-- my family-- we shouldn't have been forgetting. We didn't before. Maybe it took longer for us.

[awooligan]

[Spring, into summer... To give her time and space to soothe herself, he starts gathering up the papers from the file, flipping through to find familiar pieces of information and glance over at the notepad program that he'd kept some of the more important bits or translations he wanted to remember.]

It was always towards the end of summer going into early August that he would get caught doing more crazy stuff...

[Coco might recognize why, even if he doesn't. Not like he knows when her birthday is, after all. What he does know that if it was because of a hunter or someone punishing him, then they'd been going about it too early. Maybe it really wasn't related...

Then she's talking, and it isn't just to make herself feel better, but because she trusts him and she's sharing her story with him. For that, he gives her his full attention.

It's a lot. The sort of thing you'd read about or watch on a screen, not realize is someone's reality. That, he supposed, was his new normal...and even if he wasn't trying to get used to that fact, he'd do what he could to hear and remember her story. He's not going to be something that lets her forget any more than she already has.]

...He sounds like a good guy.

[Like he'd said before, he doesn't think she would have cared so much if he wasn't someone worth remembering. If it wasn't because of how he violated the Veil laws, he doesn't know why someone would want to make not just him, but his very memory disappear. And not all memories...just the past year or so, when things had changed for the better for the Rivera family.]

I don't get it. [Not just that, but] Why did he leave...? He's a good person, and he came back and loved you, so it wasn't like...

[He'd still wanted them in his life -- both Coco and her mother -- and they'd wanted him, too. You don't just walk away like that, when you love your family.]

[kept_his_letters]

[She's honestly surprised by his good opinion. She's so used to otherwise. A deadbeat. A walkout. Well meaning people would even point out how common it was, nothing to be ashamed of except on part of the father. But that wasn't the kind of sympathy she wanted. The only thing worse than that was every time one of her friends groaned about her Mamá not letting her do something, which, instead of making her feel understood, made her feel like a horrid daughter on top of one who was chained down.

Cliff has done neither and she looks grateful. The question comes and she feels herself give a shrug.]

Music. He left for music. It's another reason why Mamá forbid it. No more bad memories but, also, no one running away from home for something they might love more.

[She had considered it. Just once. It hadn't been serious. Merely an idle thought. She could dance whenever she liked. People moved away from their families all the time these days. She could find the money. She could find a way. Even Mamá herself had done as much.

But, as soon as the thought came, she knew she couldn't do that.

She just hoped this didn't count at the same.]

It was supposed to be a tour. A big one. Something that would make him famous. Get his music out there. I think he was supposed to leave earlier, but he wanted to stay for my birthday. In August. I always kind of thought it was the world's worst gift, that he left right after. But he wrote those letters and he called on holidays, on Día de Muertos. Until December. That's the first time he disappeared.

[That Christmas gift had been even worse than what she got for her birthday.]

He told me that... all those years, he was trying to come home. He... Is it silly to think maybe he tried to get home for my birthday?

[awooligan]

[He'd had the end of the story before the beginning, which certainly helped, but it wasn't the only thing influencing his opinion. Compared to a man that left before Cliff ever had a chance to remember him, who left a new mother all alone, who never tried to find him, or if he did, never tried hard enough, who left the door open for his stepdad to walk into his life and never leave, who didn't have a reason that his mom could give him, whether it was good or bad... A father that fights to come back, putting himself in bad situations and trying over and over despite getting sicker, who could have people love him so much they were devastatingly heartbroken every day he didn't come back from where he said he'd gone, of course Clifford sees the value in a dad like him. Hell, the guy even made donations on the side when he got paid.

He looks at the dorm's floor -- a touch more tidy now that he was sharing it with others and throwing the day's clothes around wherever for Coco to see would be humiliating -- and wonders idly if maybe it would be worth it to take that dance class after all, or if that would just make things worse. Coco was already living with constant reminders of the worst time in her life that might be coming back to stay. They didn't know when she would be made to go back home to that, or if this shared love with her dad was going to ever be shared with him again. It's stupid to think about that right now. The time would be much better spent doing this, looking into possibilities and committing stories to memory.]

And then he fell into the Outlands...

[What bad luck. At her question, Cliff looks over again with a frown.]

Don't be stupid. Of course he was.

[He's not much of an optimist, because real life was almost never so kind -- and even if he didn't believe it, he would say it. But he still finds himself believing it.]

[kept_his_letters]

[She heaves a breath and lets it out slow through her teeth.]

Yeah...

[Bad luck.

But, this situation aside, she finds that her own luck is a bit better. She turns a smile his way, an aching one. She really doesn't know how she would up with the exact friend she needed.]

Thanks.

[awooligan]

[ -- Ugh.]

Shut up, thanking me is even more stupid. I'm just saying the obvious.

[Please, Coco, spare him. He's still just a stupid teen boy at his core and he doesn't know what to do about girls smiling softly at him. Anyway...]

Sorry I said hunters might've murdered your dad. I guess I didn't have any leads after all. It just doesn't make any sense. Like, your mom wasn't dating someone that would have gotten pissed he came back, right? So I don't get it.

[kept_his_letters]

You're helping to make me feel better!

[She laughs. It's all she can do, because now she's embarrassed too.

Best to move along, and at that, she shakes her head.]

Mamá doesn't date. [She spares her mother by not mentioning the details like the way people talked or the way she looked when she thought Coco wasn't looking.] My abuelo and abuelita weren't sure about him, but they wouldn't do this sort of thing and I know for a fact they can't. Rivera magic doesn't cover this sort of thing.

[She frowns.]

...I don't know. I don't know who even knew he came back. He was only home for a little while.

[awooligan]

[Not like he's doing it on purpose!!! Well, no, he is, but it's just what he thinks, too. Still, it's...nice, despite the serious topic still weighing over them. She laughed, and she said he was helping, not that he was trying. He's doing something right, then.

He nods -- he didn't get the vibe that her mom was in a place to see someone new, still deep in her grief, but he needs to hit all the stops to rule them out.]

But it doesn't make sense for it to be someone here, or something would have happened before he ever went home. The doctor should've known something if it was some weird Blight side effect from his sickness...

[kept_his_letters]

[She considers that point and nods slow. It is weird that it would happen now of all times. If it was the school, why not earlier? Why not before she'd even known he was here? The terrible thought crosses her mind that if it had been like that, she may have very well forgotten him properly.]

So, it would have to be something recent. Maybe he got some kind of attention...

[awooligan]

[Shrug!! He's...sort of maxed out on critical thinking. As much as he'd gotten used to trying to figure things out for himself, extended problem-solving still wasn't his forte, and honestly usually led to him making bad decisions.]

It looked to me like things had calmed down a lot around when he switched over to his full name, but I didn't dig into that stuff much yet. [The crimes had seemed more relevant...]

[kept_his_letters]

[She turns her gaze up to the ceiling.]

We'll just have to keep looking I guess. We can't... really rule out the hunter thing. Or angry mages.

[As much as she wants to convince herself that she isn't searching for a grave.]

...I wonder why he didn't use his name the first time...

[awooligan]

[He'd really, really like for them to not be looking for a grave, either. He doesn't like the thought of all this effort and care she's putting into this being reduced to getting the consolation prize of knowing what happened.

And, hm. He feels stupid bringing it up because it's the first thing that he thinks of, but...it's also the first thing that he thinks of. So.]

Um. My mom gave me her maiden name, instead of my dad's name. He's not my family, she is, so... [He shrugs a little bit, shoulders staying a little more hunched afterwards.] Maybe he thought he didn't deserve it after he left?

[kept_his_letters]

[He's not family. The words settle in her. They're familiar. In Cliff's case, she can believe it. But she remember how many times Mamá tried to suggest as much about Papá through the years. If he'd had a lastname to give, she would've probably had hers changed to Rivera after anyway.]

That would make sense. He was... really sorry. For a lot of things. I don't know if he was always like that or if that's just how he is now, but...

[But it's how he was. She smiles wanely.]

This is terrible, but I'm kind of glad he didn't have a last name now. It would've been a lot harder to find his files otherwise.

[awooligan]

[He leans over a little to bump her with his elbow, pushing a smile back into his tone. If he doesn't focus on being easy-breezy, does-what-he-wants boy now, his introverted tendencies are going to get the better of him. Talking about something so heavy with a friend is unfamiliar and difficult, and talking about it with a girl is pretty unfathomable. Girls don't talk to him, let alone confide.]

Would you relax? Quit being so hard on yourself when it's something good for us. He's a Rivera, anyway -- you know that, I know that, and when you find him again he's going to know that.

[kept_his_letters]

[Well, for an unfathomable difficulty, he's doing really well. He bumps her and she lets herself sway on purpose, laughing, her smile gaining strength.]

Yeah. I guess you're right. A Rivera is a Rivera.

[That pride works back into her voice.]

[awooligan]

[She's kinder to him than the girls at his old school...! Mostly because he avoided them and would get very nervous when talking to some in particular, which didn't look Great. Having someone continue to rely on him, considering him reliable feels nice.]

Right. And I've already figured out that Rivera's are stubborn and don't give up. [Her mom enforcing the ban for years, her dad fighting to come home. They're gonna solve this!! Still...] If people don't remember him, it's going to be hard to find out if he did something major in the time between your birthday and spring.

[kept_his_letters]

[She laughs. Stubborn and not giving up. She's certainly trying.

She sighs then.]

I'm not in touch with the magical world either. I don't know half of what's actually going on. Like, I know the stuff I've told you, but the big things that happen, I don't have a clue. Maybe I should start looking for School papers.

[awooligan]

Are those really a thing? I know they're in movies and stuff, but who'd want to work on something no one's going to read?

[Never mind that she's suggesting they do just that... Podunk High might have a school paper, but if it does, he doesn't know. The less attention he has to give school, the better.]

[kept_his_letters]

Iiii... I don't know. Maybe? This is a fancy school. Fancy schools do stuff like that... right?

[Maybe?]

Surely, somebody reads it. Even a teacher giving extra credit.

[awooligan]

[Hmmm.]

Um. Yeah. Probably.

[Fancy schools -- especially this fancy school -- do a lot of bullshit things! So. Yeah.]

For writing in the paper, or for reading the paper?

[kept_his_letters]

[She makes a pbbt noise and goes to shove at him, remembering only last minute that he doesn't like to be touch and aborting the motion part way.]

For writing in, obviously.

[awooligan]

[He laughs a little, but his joking smile is a touch more genuine as his eyes linger on her arms. She noticed, she remembers, and she cares enough change her instincts for him. It's a really nice feeling.]

...You're okay. I don't mind that sort of thing from my friends.